Where Have All The Dipsticks Gone?
Some years ago, it occurred to me that the auto engine can be simplified by replacing
the conventional valve train with computer controlled solenoids actuating the valves.
I thought this would eliminate the camshafts, timing chains, rockers, springs, etc.
and would also provide a simple solution for the increasing demand for variable valve timing.
I mentioned this idea to an automotive engineer friend and I still remember his response.
He told me that a lot of people in the industry were working on this without success.
The camshaft is one of those mechanical components that is simple, reliable and very,
very difficult to improve on. With 25 years of hindsight, he was absolutely right.
Cars have changed a lot but camshafts are still with us and in greater numbers.
When you own a pick-up truck, people want to borrow it. My sister-in-law arranged that
we swap vehicles for a day and I traded my truck for her new BMW AWD 6 speed. As she dropped
it off, she said that alarms are going off inside the car with an OILCAN flashing on the
electronic display. I thought this a serious situation and promised to check the oil level
and top-up before I drove the car. I managed to open the hood only after liberal applications
of WD40 and the use of a large screwdriver as a pry bar. It wasn't just the engine that needed
lubrication! Then, looking all over, I just couldn't find that little yellow ring. After an
exhaustive search I gave up and moved from the engine compartment to the glove box. I dug up
the owner's manual and found the section on checking the oil level. There was no dipstick.
The oil-level gauge was a
part of the electronic diagnostic display! This can be activated only after starting the
engine and having it run for about 5 minutes. Then, one has to scroll through a bunch of
diagnostic screens pushing buttons on the signal lever this way and that until the oilcan appears.
More tries eventually produced the graphic display reproduced here. Hmmmm, +1L? I was not entirely
sure what this meant but the solid bar was to the left, so I assumed the message is to add 1L.
I shut-off the engine, added 1 litre, restarted and waited 5 minutes; then worked the signal lever buttons
at random. Eventually the graphic display appeared; +1L. Exactly as before, the solid bar
hadn't moved. If I am to add another litre now, shouldn't the first display have read +2L? I gave
up. The BMW was under warranty with the dealer doing 100% of the servicing free-of-charge.
I remember when Bimmers were a specialty marque, revered by those of who valued handling,
performance and excellent engineering. Now, another long-held belief shattered! The Beemer (sic) of
today doesn't even have a dipstick! The 21 century engineers have improved on the this
simple and
reliable device and given us a complicated electronic system in its place. Maybe they should
also replace the camshaft with solenoid operated valves.
YK - November, 09
© Transdynamics Engineering Limited
November, 2009.
